The Truth

I believe that Gabe's hair is actually a really fluffy green cat.

You see, during the mission with the army guy, he mentions how he didn't get to keep his hair in the army. You could say he just shaved his hair off, BUT THAT WOULD BE BORING. During his adventures of shooting Nazis, getting eating by crocodiles, and infiltrating bases to steal weapons (that's what war people do, right?), a bomb made it's way towards Gabe. They had an epic stare down, man vs. bomb. But then the bomb exploded. They tend to do that. Gabe (conveniently) wasn't wearing his helmet for some (convenient) reason. Although he did not get hurt, his hair... uh... caught on fire or something and burned off. Yeah, that works. And because bombs are magical, it never grew back. Heartbroken and scarred, Gabe desperately tried searching for a replacement wig, but to no avail. Because seriously, who would buy a green wig? Unless it was Halloween. But then it'll look all ugly or lime green or something. Psh. Anyways, one day he went out to mourn the loss of his precious hair, when he comes across a stray cat. That was green. And fluffy. He then realized that this cat had looked (conveniently) like his old hair. So he now uses the cat as his replacement hair, and in return gives it a home and takes care of it.

THIS IS THE TRUTH I WILL ACCEPT NOTHING ELSE

"Oh, but Umberon, green cats don't exist!"

In a world with amnesiac prisoners, flying superheros, ninja doctors, and people who listen to the dead, there are going to be fucking green cats. (and yet there are no green wigs. I dunno, perhaps he couldn't find one that looked like his old hair.)

Now all the little guy needs is a name.

_{I was thinking Rupert.}